Monday, March 3, 2014

The Bump

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Depending on what I wear, “the bump” is starting to show.  Overall, I’m okay with this and actually find it fun (though hard to dress…), but interesting that I’ve found less support than I would have thought in regards to the scary side of being pregnant and becoming a mom.  First of all, no one wants to talk about it – it’s seen as uncomfortable and almost taboo.  I recently shared some very normal concerns with a girlfriend of mine and her response made my mouth drop… my feelings were completely disregarded and I was sternly reminded that I should be overjoyed for being able to experience this.  Well, of course, I’m overjoyed!  But does that mean that I’m not also scared or self-conscious…?  Why do my personal feelings become non-existent as a part of this process?  It’s baffling to me.  So, taboo or not, here it is – pregnancy is wonderful, a complete and utter blessing, and scary as hell.  There, I said it.

That said, I found a great book that openly addresses many of these common concerns: “Does This Pregnancy Make Me Look Fat?” by Claire Mysko and Magali Amadei.  Don’t let the tongue-and-cheek title fool you, this is a serious conversation on fears, realities, and myths of pregnancy.  I highly recommend it for anyone who’s pregnant, considering becoming pregnant, or has a pregnant friend.  In particular, I recommend it for anyone who’s struggled with an eating disorder.


Check out Claire Mysko’s overview (portion below) or their DTPMMLF website for more info.

“If you’re like most expectant women, you’re worried about what pregnancy and motherhood will do to your body, your sexuality, and your self-esteem (even if you don’t want to admit it out loud for fear of the Bad Mommy Police). While the journey to motherhood is truly miraculous and brings forth life, it can also bring forth a myriad of legitimate concerns…beauty activists Claire Mysko and Magali Amadei, offer a much-needed forewarning on what to expect from your changing body, as well as a reality check for each stage of your pregnancy, exposing the myths, challenges, and insecurities you’ll face throughout pregnancy and beyond—and what to do about them.'”


Wynne Prasetyo said...

awwwwwwwwwww :))))

chiara said...

I was lucky enough to have a couple of colleagues to whom I could voice my concerns and whine a little (which sometimes is all I needed). I could ask questions like - is this kind of pain normal? did you ever had...).
Don't you have a friend with little children to talk about some of your fears/issues? Of course for important things you should call your doctor, but small issues and insecurities a friend can be very helpful!

Indy said...

What a great color on you! And sometimes scary things are a blessing! You're 100% right :)

Melissa said...

I've had 2 pregnancies while suffering from an eating disorder and its incredibly hard to deal with the changes in your body(especially after the baby comes and the weight doesn't just fall off and you keep an extra 30 lbs on until you're done breastfeeding).
Pregnancy is an amazing thing but its not easy. In fact it sometimes down right sucks and voicing that it's not all roses doesn't mean you aren't excited or greatful for the experience.

Cara said...

I'm just a few weeks behind you (just announced it on my blog), and I've been blessed with some great friends and blogger-friends who are honest about the whole thing. My family? Not so much. MY sister will tell me horror stories about labour, and my mom will remind me she had a migraine for a week when pregnant with me, but the waking up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat after realizing "crap, we're doing this!" feeling? If it weren't for my friends, I would be certain I was doing something wrong. Fortunately, most people have been very reassuring about how normal it is to think about how terrible and scary it is, and that's usually what makes the terrible and scary feelings go away!

Elegance and Mommyhood said...

Awww, your belly is showing. You look adorable.

Now, about what you said. A lot of people are ignorant when it comes to pregnancy and pregnant women, men and women included. That is why many days we are dealt with strange looks, weird questions, offensive comments etc. It happened to me too while pregnant and at first I took it to heart, I took it personally. But then I grew a thicker skin and just realized that they don't know better. Especially, when the emotional level and moods of a pregnant woman are a lot more sensitive than one who isn't. Sure there are those who are total sweethearts and understand. From letting you use the restroom first, to pulling chairs, holding your bag for you or any heavy object you may have to lift, letting you sit down, etc. etc.

It is very normal to feel scared and overwhelmed when pregnant. Otherwise there is something wrong with you. Sure, it's an awesome feeling, it's a joy that not all women get to experience, but it is scary as hell and fear is very normal in these situations. I think, it doesn't even hit a woman entirely, until she is like 34-36 weeks because by then the baby can come at his or her own time. At least that's when it hit me even more (the scary feelings) but you also realize that it is such a natural thing and that millions of women have done it before, most of which more than once.

I tried to enjoy my pregnancy as much as possible. Unfortunately for me I was pregnant for what it seemed like 7 months of Summer and I didn't deal too well with all the heat (I live in a very warm-weathered city and Summer was very long in 2012). But I didn't take it for granted because those months are sacred. I also tried to make the most of my current closet as well as my maternity clothes.

Sorry, this comment dragged on too long but just giving me 2 or in this case 22 cents. LOL Wishing you a very smooth and pretty pregnancy, darling!!

If you need to chat about anything or have any pregnancy questions for me (since it is still very fresh for me), just shoot me an E-Mail. =)

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Brass Honey said...

I had no idea Londyn. Congratulations on the bump! You look amazing.

Brass Honey said...

Londyn, I had no idea. Congratulations on the bump. You look amazing as always.

Mica T said...

Oh I hadn't heard of that book before - it sounds like a good read! One I was recommended by a pregnant colleague was "up the duff" by Kaz Cooke, who admitted to me that she had hidden her pregnancy so long as she was scared of many things around it, until a girlfriend gave her the book. She found it so helpful even though I wasn't pregnant she told me to remember it, and to get it for everyone who I knew who was pregnant!
Hubby got me the book for Christmas, I finished it in days, and I immediately mentioned it (and some other resources) to another colleague who tearfully confessed to me that she was pregnant and struggling immensely with it. Poor lady is scared of losing her job and hating how bad she feels but powerless to change how pregnancy is affecting her. I'm being as supportive as I can.

Bottom line - pregnancy is a beautiful, wonderful, and in many cases strongly wished for thing. But it is also, like you said, something scary and a time of so many changes that it's easy for anxieties and doubts and fears to creep in. Not everything is a bed of roses in pregnancy, and it's a shame you've met people who won't acknowledge the fears of it.

So glad you found a book that is helpful to you, and I know you will find more people who respect your thoughts as you reach out :)

Away From Blue

Londyn said...

Thank you all for your sweet words and insights :-) You are my inspirations!